I don't know why you're here reading this but the obvious assumption is that you're contemplating or going through a divorce. I live in Kansas so whatever I post here obviously has the most relevance for this state, but much of what I'll post has meaning for anyone going through it.
I'll give you some background on my personal situation. I was married when I was 19 back in 1981. My spouse was 18. You can go on about me being too young - I got it. In any case she came from an abusive family and I was going to be her knight in shining armor. Twenty-eight years later I woke up and realized it was finally time to make a change in my life. I have three children - 22, 20, and 16. I had stayed in a bad relationship so I could be with them. My spouse has several issues and frankly I needed to stay there to give them some balance. With my obligations generally completed I decided it was time.
So one evening I sat down with her on the deck and told her when I got back from a business trip I was going to file for divorce. Rather than start crying or arguing she simply asked when I was going to tell the children. I told her I was going to when I filed. She promptly got up, got them together at a restaurant, and told them the news.
This was the beginning of her rallying my children against me. Be ready for this. It WILL happen.
No matter how you slice it going through a divorce sucks. I've been miserable for nearly three decades and this is going to be one of the best things to happen to me in my life. But it still sucks. Be ready for it. Before you pull the trigger prepare yourself mentally. Much of what you believe will be changed.
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